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Excerpt from Waiting Room
by Elinor Teele © 2010 | Contact
ACT I, Scene 1
(Lights up. FLORENCE, sharply dressed in a suit, is sitting in a chair in a doctor's waiting room reading a magazine, a briefcase by her side. There are a few other chairs and an empty desk. JAYLEENE enters through Door #1, carrying a pocketbook and runs through Door #2. She emerges a few minutes later shaking wet hands. She considers the chairs and decides to sit in the one next to FLORENCE.)
JAYLEENE
God, did you ever have one of those days?
(FLORENCE ignores her.)
I tell you, Kmart ought to sell some of those padded diapers, you know, the ones that whacked-out astronaut used in the car sose she wouldn't have to stop on her cross country psycho stalking. I can't tell you how many times I've almost bust out all over this floor after holding it in, and holding it in while that stinking turtle they call the subway farted its way through the stops. Ladies need ladies' rooms. I've told them, but they never listen.
(a pause)
You don't look too sick. You got an appointment with the doctor too?
FLORENCE
I'm waiting for some results.
JAYLEENE
Is it Aids?
FLORENCE
What?
JAYLEENE
Gonorrhea? Genital warts? Go on, you can tell me.
FLORENCE
Are you joking?
JAYLEENE
Baby, I've had my arm snapped twice, my back and my ribs cracked like the coming of doom, and my heart broken more times than I care to count. I've had Hepatitis B, three rounds with Chlamydia and a helluva long-term relationship with Herpes. I smoke, drink and eat too much and the doctor tells me that if I don't stop all of them I'll be dead before the year is out. I ain't joking.
Excerpt from Box Office: A Farce
by Elinor Teele © 2010 | Contact
ACT I, Scene 1
(Darkened stage. TOM and BRIAN onstage.)
BRIAN
No!
(Spotlight coming slowly up.)
No, no, no, no, and wait, a thought's just coming to me, no!
TOM
She's talented.
BRIAN
She's a toothpaste commercial.
TOM
She's box office.
BRIAN
Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm sure she'd be perfect for the role of a window display. I'm just worried about the moment when the audience expects something like English to come out of her mouth.
TOM
We can work on her pacing.
BRIAN
You can work on her pacing. I'll be busy pushing needles into her latest action figure.
TOM
Brian, you're being unreasonable.
BRIAN
I'm a director. Read the job description. House lights please.
("House" lights come up.)
TOM
Okay Brian, here it is, no ice, straight up. She's in it. You're directing. And I will have thousands of bums on seats for a play that in any other circumstance would end up on a freshman's optional reading list. She arrives tomorrow. You may want to try a different aftershave.
BRIAN
God, Tom, you really are a world-class asshole.
TOM
I'm a producer. Read the job description.
(Lights down.)
Excerpt from The Baby: A Ten-Minute Play
by Elinor Teele © 2010 | Contact
ACT 1, Scene 1
(The aftermath of a battlefield. A grim bare floor is littered with broken weapons. WOMAN 2 and WOMAN 3 are busy stripping DEAD SOLDIER of his jewelry and armor. WOMAN 1 enters dangling a doll by its hand. WOMAN 1 is wearing a pair of dirty army trousers.)
WOMAN 1
I found a baby.
WOMAN 2
Shall we kill it?
WOMAN 3
Maybe later.
(A pause.)
Where's the mother?
WOMAN 1
Dead.
WOMAN 3
Ah well. Just as well.
WOMAN 1
Well. What should I do with it?
WOMAN 2
Burn it.
WOMAN 3
Do we need to do anything with it?
WOMAN 1
No, you're right. I'll just put it down over here.
(Depositing the doll in a corner.)
There. That's settled.
(A pause.)
Unless it's not.
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